My first born, Avery (4.5), is so stinking hilarious. I think she’s the funniest kid on the planet, but I’m her mom…I’m supposed to think that;)
Really though, the imagination that God has given her is above and beyond anything I’ve ever tried to conjure up even on my best day. She LOVES to play dress up. Always has. If she doesn’t have the costume, she makes one from articles of clothing and props in the house. Every day is play day. Every hour she wants to pretend something. Her mind creates these story lines and you have to participate, regardless if you want to or not.
Within a week’s time, she can dress up as many as 20 different characters. She’s been Cinderella, Belle, Jasmine, Snow White, Aurora, Merida, Elsa, Mulan, Ariel, Mary Poppins, Little Orphan Annie, Alice in Wonderland, Dorothy, Ninja Turtle, a cheerleader, a monster, a bear, a dog, the pizza lady….
I can’t name them all. And guess what I am? The prince, the vilan, the witch, the bad guy…whatever she COMMANDS me to be:)
She says the craziest things, too. They come out of nowhere and crack me up. Her perspective on life is so unique. Seeing the world the eyes of a child brings back the innocence that is lost when you grow up. Start paying bills. Lose jobs. Lose loved ones. Experience hurt. Experience life. Life ACCORDING TO AVERY seems so much more fun!
Here are some doozies from when she was only 2 years old:
*Me: “I hope you were nice to Alyssa when y’all played together. Did you hit her?”
Me: “Are you telling me the truth?”
*She passed gas and I said, “Avery…what was that? There’s a frog in your diaper!” She said, “No, it’s a poot in my diaper”.
*When we were in the food court at the mall, she pooted. I said, “Avery, you shouldn’t poot in public.” She told me, “No I didn’t poot in public, I poot in mall.”
*The other morning she was sitting in her high chair waiting on me to fix her breakfast, and said, “Uh oh mommy. I smell poo-poo from my breaff”. First lesson on morning breath…learned.
*While holding her Cinderella princess doll, she kissed her and said, “I lubz (love) her. That makes my heart all better.”
*I told her, “You’re so cute I could just eat you up!” She replied, “No, you already had chicken nuggets!”
*Every time I tell her, “You’re my sweet baby.” Her immediate response is, “No, I’m a princesssss!” (And she believes it, too!)
*Michael over heard Avery introducing herself to some new friends at the beach with this killer intro… “My name is Avery. I know how to tee tee in the potty.”
Fast forward to more recently at the age of four and life ACCORDING TO AVERY gets more interesting:
*Avery: “Why isn’t Maw (my mom) awake yet?”
Me: “She’s used to sleeping late. She doesn’t have kids to wake her up early every morning.” (said condescendingly)
Avery: “Well I can wake her up!” (As if she was doing her a favor)
*”Mommy, I love Chucky Cheez-its”.
*”It’s ok to poot. As long as you say ‘Excuse Me’ bc it’s good manners. But don’t poot in front of other people. Like…don’t poot in their face or on their belly button bc it might go in their body and make them sick.”
*Me: “Avery, how do you know daddy loves me?”
Avery: “Because you’re his wife! And he tells you he loves you by rubbing your booty.”
*Avery asked what Aloha meant. I told her that in Hawaii people say hello and goodbye using Aloha. She looked at me and said, “Helloha.”
*Avery: “Mama, where’s that jar I put cookies in?”
Me: “I gave it to Goodwill”
Avery: “BUT I DONT WANT A WHALE TO HAVE IT!”
*On the way home Avery really had to go to the bathroom. I told Michael to stop on the side of the road. She protested in a terrified voice, “No! What if a stranger tries to take off my hair?! And makes me bald!?” Uhhhh….
*Through Avery’s crocodile tears about having to go into the dark bathroom all alone, she said she was “scared of monsters, strangers, and LIONS AND TIGERS AND BEARS.” Oh my!
*Avery: Mommy how old am I?
Me: You’re 4.
Avery: Ohhhh…when am I gonna be 5?
Me: May 22
Avery: (sounding disappointed) May 22 AGAIN??!!! What??!!!
* “I don’t like to sneeze. It makes me miss the TV.”
*”Are strangers nice when the sun is shining? Are they only bad at night? When we see a stranger, can I ask him to make cupcakes for my pool party next year?”
*Chick-Fil-A forgot to give us ketchup. Liam (my sister’s boyfriend) drove across the street to Arby’s and runs in to get ketchup and I said, “Yaaay! Liam saved the day!” After realizing it was Arby’s sauce and having gone to the Wendy’s drive thru for…ketchup…Avery whispers to me, “Actually, Liam didn’t save the day”.
When looking at a full moon one night, she told us, “Me and Mommy and Daddy and Cotton can go live on the moon and see God and Jesus on Tuesdays.”
Every morning I always ask her if she dreamed about anything and what? She always says “Yes…Jesus”. The other day she told me, “Jesus talked to you (mommy) and told you to go make me some breakfast.” Well….I can’t argue with Jesus!
While we were eating lunch in the mall’s food court, she sees a young college age boy with medium length hair…looks at me….and says, “Mommy, that’s God.”
Around Christmas time she was learning about Jesus, baby Jesus, and how it was his birthday. She poked her belly out and told me, “I have baby Jesus in my bellll-yyyyy”.
*Avery: Are princesses real or are they people dressed up in costume?
Me: What do you think?
Avery: People dressed up.
Me: (hesitantly) You’re right.
Avery: (crying) No! I don’t like it. I want them to be real!
Me: You’re 4. It’s ok to believe they are real. Do you know who really IS a real princess ?
Avery: Me. Because God is my father and he is a king.
*Recently Atlanta experienced “Snowmageddon” after a few inches of snowfall shut down the traffic. People were stranded on the roads between 8-14 hours trying to commute a few miles home. Children were left to sleep in school and babies had to stay at their daycares overnight. I told Avery about it and she dropped to her knees and prayed “Jesus, please move the snow off the driveways so the mommies and daddies can get to their children. Amen.”
According to Avery, God is accessible.
According to Avery, Jesus is real.
According to Avery, they are both the strongest men in the universe. They see everything, know everything, and nothing is impossible with them.
According to Avery, when she prays, they listen.
According to Avery, Jesus died on the cross because he loves her.
According to Avery, if you ask Jesus into your heart you go to heaven.
She knows these truths because we have taught her. God and Jesus are common words used in our home. They are real people to her because we make them real. She communicates with them regularly. She has a childlike faith that means believing without a doubt. The kind of faith that a child has when she’s standing on the edge of the diving board looking at her daddy waiting in the deep end and he says, “Jump! I’ve got you!”…she jumps because she trusts in her daddy.
When was the last time you prayed? When was the last time you got on your knees put your forehead to the carpet? When was the last time you stepped out into the deep waters because you knew your Father was there to catch you?
It’s not that hard, you know, to trust in God…according to Avery.
Luke 18:17 Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”
Matthew 18:3 And said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Psalm 71:5-6 For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth. Upon you I have leaned from before my birth; you are he who took me from my mother’s womb. My praise is continually of you.